


Shattered Glass

by sweetheartlamb (orphan_account)



Series: Clubverse [3]
Category: The Simpsons
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Attempt at Humor, Attempted Murder, Dark Comedy, Evil Plans, Gen, Kidnapping, Major Original Character(s), Murder, Original Character(s), Revenge, plans that barely work, this story definitely picks up SOMEWHERE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 7,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25388287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sweetheartlamb
Summary: The sequel to 'Now Hiring!'.The Kill Homer Club goes on one final trawl to kill Homer Jay Simpson, and deal with his allies.
Relationships: Frank Grimes/Original Character(s), Homer Simpson/Marge Simpson
Series: Clubverse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824484
Kudos: 2





	1. The Familiar Failure of the Sapling Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank and his son learn more about the Sapling family.

Later that Saturday, Remus, Frank, and their son were inside the Rusty Mill. The notebook has already been written in and everyone was waiting for the other to talk. They wanted to know more about the Saplings, since Junior had their blood. Eventually, Remus spoke up. "...You two want to know more about the Saplings, don't you?" she asked.

They both nodded and let Remus ramble her way through the family history. "Let's start with the Sapling brothers. Cain, Abel, and Seth. Their parents were Christians. ...Well, except for Seth's mother, who's agnostic. He was, as you might know, born in an affair." she started. "Joseph and Alice were...neglectful. They only really cared for Abel. Both Cain and Seth were jealous of the way he was treated." She gestured the moves of a knife. "Eventually, Cain snapped, and killed Abel." she said, slamming her imaginary knife into the table. The duo leaned back a bit when she did it.

"Of coruse, Joseph and Alice found out and they abandoned the two living Sapling brothers. Cain stayed in Springfield while Seth left for Mavton." she stated. Frank and Juinor stayed silent for a while before Juinor asked about her parents. Remus took out a photo album. "Glad you asked!" she said, turning the pages to pictures of Cain and Mary's wedding. "This is Cain and my mother, Mary." She gave the duo her album so they could look through it.

It gave light to more of the Sapling family history. Mainly, stuff about Remus' childhood and the lives of her grandparents. It even contained some photos of Abigail Marley, Seth's biological mother. The two noticed a theme of abandonment in her family. Earl left Alice, Alice and Joseph left the Sapling brothers, Mary left Cain...and Remus left Juinor.

It would almost be considered generic, if it could be. Neither of them wanted to note it, since it most likely would've bring back bad memories, and Remus probably already knew. ...At least, on the brighter side, the Saplings also seemed to have a penchant for rambling. They looked through the album some time more before they gave it back to Remus. Remus reminded them that they would be going back to normal procedure tomorrow and Frank would have to think of a plan. Frank and Juinor went back to their houses while Remus stood back in the Rusty Mill.


	2. Shining Seth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kill Homer Club decide to put their hatred for Homer on low-key mode to deal with Seth.

The next day, Remus was cleaning the Rusty Mill once again. And, as you know by now, Ned and Maude appeared first. Since the door was already open, they could just walk inside. Once Remus greeted them, the duo went to the basement to wait for the meeting. You know the drill now, so let's skip to said meeting.

Remus rung her apple juice box to bring the attention of the other members. "Dudes, dudettes, and duds, I have a bit of new news." she told the people. They all turned to the bloodshot ghost to listen to what she had to say. "...We'll have to follow Seth to stop him." she continued. Everyone thought about it except for Frank, who spoke up.

"Hey, _wait!_ But you said-"

"Yes, Frank, I know, but I have a change of plans. This is important, and everyone has to be on it." Remus tried to explain.

Ned raised his hand. "Can I leave? You know I have to go to church soon..."

She turned to Ned and said "Sure. Take Maude with you." As they left, she turned back to Frank. "...Continue." she offered.

"I understand the reason _why_ you want to do this, but can't you do this in your own time?"

"Because, Frank, if we stop Seth...then he can't stop _us_ from killing Homer!" she said, noticing everyone was staring at them.

"Yes, sure...but what about Homer himself?"

"...We'll still try to kill him, but I'd be much more low-key. We don't want another Story 2, Chapter 16 again." she replied. Everyone was confused on what she meant, but Frank and Juinor realized she was referring to their first meeting with Seth. Remus got out of her chair and gestured the others to join her. "He's probably at the Simpson's house." she told the others, referring to her damp-haired relative. The others soon followed.

Once they got to the Simpson's house, to noone's surprise, the so-called guardian's moped was in the driveway. They hid in a nearby bush as Marge got Lisa, Bart, and Maggie prepared to go to church while Seth was getting Homer prepared. Marge and Seth both already had their suits on. The club, while they watched this happen, decided to get Ned and Maude to report what Seth did in church. Remus called them to ask if they will follow up with their plan, and the duo grudgingly agreed.

Seeing the Simpsons and Flanders drive to church, Frank asked Remus what they're going to do now. She admitted she didn't know what to do and told everyone to wait in the bush until Homer got back. Nobody knew what to do to pass the time. Sometimes, one member would leave for a while to do something minuscule, then come back. It was...rather boring, to say the least.


	3. Shining Seth Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned and Maude check up on Seth.

While the rest of the club were doing nothing, Ned and Maude were at the First Church of Springfield. Ned had a discreet notebook in hand and made important notes about Seth whenever possible. He recorded how he interacted with others, how he sung and prayed, and the like. Excluding activities where he needed to, he didn't talk much. Plus, he seemed like an attentive listener.

If someone didn't know about his true self, they probably would've thought he was just an upstanding, kind Christian man. Too bad only two of those four descriptions are true. Anyways, Ned stopped taking notes a little while before the Reverend's sermon finished. The duo agreed that they would talk to Seth after they left. And of course, he soon finished, and everyone walked out of the church.

Ned walked up to Seth, with Maude close behind. Homer shook a bit, but he had a feeling they wouldn't try to harm him. Ned tapped Seth on the shoulder, and said "Hi-diddly ho, buddy."

Seth turned to Ned and replied. "...Who are you?"

"My name's Ned Flanders!" he said, holding out his hand. "What's your name?"

"Seth Begonia Marley-Sapling." He pulled Ned and the Simpsons to a nearby bench and sat down. "Why are you talking to me?"

"...You know, I'd hate to start on the riddly-wrong track...but I diddly-don't think Homer appreciates your help." he admitted.

"...Uu...Of course he does!" he said, raising his voice. He looked at Homer, who began to shake his head. Seth forced his hand on Homer's neck and forced him to nod. Ned and Maude looked at him in unsurprise, disbelief, and slight disappointment. "Mhm." they only scoffed.

They noticed Marge seemed to feel the same way as they did. At least they were on the same page. The two families chatted some more before they both went home. The Flanders noticed that Remus, Roman, Frank, and Juinor were the only ones left in the bush. Remus called the two to say they would meet up in the bush tomorrow instead of the Mill.

Remus summoned her notebook and wrote ' **CONTINUE LATER** ' in it. Meanwhile, Frank was calling Herb and Edna to tell them the same thing Remus told the Flanders. The four of them would camp in the bushes until tomorrow. Plus, Frank would get his turn...after tomorrow. Tomorrow, Maude would plan what to do.


	4. The Unfettered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kill Homer Club decide to give Seth (and Homer) a piece of their minds.

Today, Remus wasn't at the Rusty Mill. She was hiding in one of the Simpson's bushes with her friend, her (maybe) former boyfriend, and her son. Ned and Maude were the first to join them, standing beside the bush instead of inside it to not seem suspicious. Edna and Herb soon joined them. "Where's Maude?" Remus asked, not noticing she was standing over them.

Herb pointed the other side of the bush, and Remus popped her head through that side of it to look at Ned and Maude. "Maude, what do you want to do?" she asked. The duo chattered to each other and then looked to Remus. "We go to the Simpson's house and tell Seth what we think." They told to her. She congratulated the duo and lead them to the Simpson's house.

Remus also joined them as Ned rung the doorbell. The rest of the members moved back as the door opened. It was Seth who opened the door, and he glared at Remus. "Mr. and Mrs. Flanders, what brings you here today?" he grimaced.

"This is about _you_ , Mr. Marley-Sapling." Ned said, pointing at him. "Bring Homer to the diddly-dang door."

Seth left for a while, then went back to the front door, holding Homer in his hand. Homer had his ghost-sensing goggles on. "Flanders? Why are you here?" Homer asked. Ned and Maude went inside and pushed Seth out of the way. Ned spoke to him as Maude went up to Homer. "I just want to say...we are now on..."fine" terms." Maude told him.

"...Fine terms? But...aren't we enemies?" he inquired as Remus sneaked inside.

"We **are!** And we _**still are!**_ This is just an enemy mine situation, Homer!" she said, strangling him.

Seth went up to him and pulled her off him. "Stay away from Homer. As long as I'm here, you won't be able to hurt him." he said to the trio. She then looked at Remus. "Are any of your other friends here?" he queried. Remus assumed she didn't have a choice, and called the rest of the members to go inside.

Once the others got inside, Roman asked an important question. "Where's Marge, anyway?" they inquired Seth.

"She's somewhere else in Springfield." he replied, fixing his tie. "I might have something to do with that." The club began to feel worried about Marge and Homer. A near-sociopathic man with stalker tendencies was biting down on _their_ prey. And what could they do about it? ...Maybe they could try to kill him too. Mmm, murder...


	5. The Unfettered Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth throws the club out the door.

Seth stared at the club, who were inadvertently planning his own death, along with Homer's. Even if they weren't planning to kill him too, he was going to throw them out the door soon. He started by asking Ned and Maude to leave. They refused at first, but then 'willingly' left after he pulled out a gun. After they left, he sent Homer upstairs and then turned back to the club. "I will keep Homer safe." he said, putting the gun away. "Anyone else who will leave willingly?"

There was a pause of silence. Then, Herb left on his own, and Frank dragged his son out the door since he was late for work. And thus, left Edna, Roman, and Remus. Remus walked up to Seth and stood her ground, saying she and her friends would power though and succeed. It didn't work, and he threw Remus and Roman over his shoulders and threw them out the door.

He then did the same to Edna. As they laid on the lawn, he told them to stay away from both Homer and himself. Remus walked up to the door after telling her friends to go back home. She pounded the door, yelling at Seth. All he did was glare, then look away. After a while, she stopped then flew away.

She went back to the Rusty Mill and summoned her notebook. She wrote ' **UNDEFINED** ' in it, and de-summoned it afterwards. What would she do now? Seth would just ignore her, and she didn't have any ideas of how to kill him, or _anyone_ , for that matter. Not to mention, her friends weren't there to console her.

She laid back in her chair. Remus decided to just wait for Tuesday. Surely, her creativity and motivation would come back soon. She got out of her chair, found a sleeping bag, and took a nap. Surely, she would be rested and ready for the rest of today after then. ...Of coruse, assuming she doesn't sleep through the day and wake up tomorrow.


	6. One-two Punch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank decides to settle the score.

What do you know, Remus slept through the day. ...Which means it's Tuesday now. She woke up to Ned and Maude knocking on the door. Not necessarily because the door was locked, since it _wasn't_ locked, but because they wanted Remus' permission to go inside. She sleepily got up and let the angel-human duo inside.

She pointed to the basement. "Go over there. I'll be waiting up here, alright?" she said. As the couple went downstairs, Remus got a glass of cold water. The others came by, one by one. Everyone was in the basement except Remus, who was drinking upstairs.

"Since Remus isn't here, I suppose I'm the leader...again." Frank said. Everyone knew what he said was only _technically_ correct, but everyone agreed since this meant they would have a competent leader. ...Again. He had a simple plan, knock out Seth and beat up Homer. Everyone liked the plan, but were secretly disappointed by the lack of complexity.

They all stormed to the Simpson's house, with Remus closely following them. They all stood in the yard as Juinor rung the doorbell. Seth opened the door once again, and didn't even finish saying his greeting before Juinor slammed his gun against Seth's head. His body fell to the floor as the rest of the club went inside. "Homer! Come out, wherever you are..." Edna called.

Homer was hiding in the basement, and had his goggles on. As much as he didn't want to be hurt, he didn't want any of his inventions to be destroyed, and thought the only way to stop them from getting hurt is to sacrifice himself. He ran upstairs and revealed himself to the club. And, to no surprise, the club all pounded on him. He had been beaten, biten, bruised, plus more and Seth couldn't do anything about it.

But Marge Simpson can.

Meanwhile, in her bedroom, she was drilling out the nails on her door with a screwdriver. Seth had locked her in her room earlier today, and thus had to hear her Homie get nearly killed by ghosts (and some other beings). Eventually, she got the nails out and kicked the door down. She stomped down the stairs, with the screwdriver in hand. Marge was going to set things right.


	7. One-two Punch Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marge sets things right, and gets a few questions answered, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for graphic (?) description of a nearly dead body, viewer discretion advised.

" _ **STOOOOOOP!**_ "

The club turned to Marge and stopped after she shouted. Homer was nearly knocked out, and had two black eyes. Blood dripped out from his nose, mouth, and wounds. One of his arms were ripped off, with the aforementioned arm in Roman's hands. Along with that, he had strangle marks on his neck and a few deep gashes on his body. He was laying in a pool of his own blood, and if he wasn't dead yet, he would be soon.

She pushed her way to the dying man and dragged him to her car. She then locked the door and drove to the hospital. The club stared at the floor in reflection. They finished their job...it seems. At the very least, he would be in extreme pain for a long time.

Meanwhile, Homer was being taken to the emergency room. Marge waited outside, worried for her husband's health. The only definite treatment she knew Homer would get if he lived were multiple blood transfers. If he survived, it would be a genuine miracle. Eventually, she was dispatched from the hospital, and could go home now.

As Marge drove home, Seth started to wake up. His eyes were open enough to see the club stare at the floor, were Homer's body would've been. They were all dumbstruck by the fact that Homer was most likely dead. Seth has failed. As he rose from the floor, Marge opened the door, knocking him out again.

She ordered the club to get out. They all scampered out the door as Marge laid down on the couch. She could see Seth lay down on the floor from the corner of her eye. He woke up again and was sobbing on the floor. She would deal with him later, but for now, she needed to calm down.

While Marge was processing her husband's possible death, Remus was inside the empty Mill with her notebook in hand. She had wroth ' **SUCCESSFUL** ' in it, and yet she noticed something. This book could sense if Homer died. Once he did, the book would force her to destroy it immediately. 'Maybe I'd feel it soon...' she thought. She didn't.


	8. Four Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened during (and after) those four months?

If it wasn't _very_ obvious, four months have passed since Homer went to the hospital. He's gotten, amongst other things, blood transfusions, stitches, organ replacements, a prosthetic arm, and therapy. In a few weeks or so, he'll be able to go home. He'll be with his loving family once again. Sure, maybe that club meant to kill him will try to kill him again, but that's the least of his problems right now.

The Flanders have also visited him once in a while, but none of those visits had any sort of attempted murder. It probably had to do with the fact they were off-duty. He appreciated their help, if only because they weren't trying to kill him. He was also visited by other people, usually friends, family, or his wife. However, he wasn't visited by Seth.

Why is that, you may ask? Well, it's because he's in the Calmwood Mental Hospital. He's being treated for antisocial personality disorder, erotomania, stalking tendencies, and narcissism. He's going to be there for a long time, for better or for worse. All we know is that he won't be touching the Simpsons ever again.

Speaking of people touching the Simpsons, what happened to the Kill Homer Club? Nothing, technically. They just laid dormant, waiting for Homer to come back. They might be murderous jerkasses, but they like to play fair in terms of comeback. Also, because they are all completely out of ideas. Doing nothing but trying to kill a man for weeks on end doesn't do favors for your creativity...

And sure, many other things have happened during those four months. Unfortunately, they're not relevant to this story. Also because that line from earlier about the lack of ideas stemmed from real life. But I digress, all that matters is that you're caught up on the events of everything important. Now, let's go to a few weeks later, shall we?


	9. Weapons In the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned decides to make good use of some secret tools.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this a reference to that one scene from Treehouse of Horror XXII where Ned had a bunch of weapons behind his picture of the Last Supper? Yes.
> 
> Also, it's Wednesday in-universe.

Homer Simpson is back home, and the Kill Homer Club is back in business! Remus has been cleaning the recently neglected Mill as Ned and Maude walked by. She opened the door and let them inside, then stopped cleaning to wait for everyone else. That 'everyone else' being Edna, Roman, Frank, and Herb. As everyone gathered downstairs, Remus tapped her apple juice, the only snack the club had in months.

"Alright, everyone! Ned has a plan, maybe! Listen up!" she yelled. Everyone turned to the green sweater man. "I believe we must use more force to hurt that...jerk. Ned said, attempting to rhyme. Everyone took it into consideration, while Remus had a question. "...Doesn't that sound a bit out of character?" she asked.

"...Well, this story has gone a bit off the diddly-dang rails and everyone here had acted out of character once, so might as well."

Remus thought about it, and said "...Eh, can't agure with that logic." She relaxed in her chair and then asked what his plan was.

"...Well, I have weapons hidden in the walls of my house." Ned said, not elaborating on the many questions that sentence brought up.

Everyone except Maude and Edna stared at him in confusion. Why did he have weapons in his house's walls, why didn't he use those weapons before, _did_ he ever use those weapons, and what does these weapons have to do with his plan? "Homer could visit my house and I could use one of those weapons to..." he said, not finishing his sentence. Everyone knew what he meant however, and sent him and Maude on their way. Ned started to wonder if this was a good idea.

They knocked on Homer's door, and Marge answered the door. "Ah... _Maude..._ and Ned." she said, grimacing on Maude's name.

"Fear not. We mean no harm to Homer Simpson." Maude assured her.

"He just want to invite him to our diddly-happy home." Ned said, sounding slightly strained.

"Mhm. Well, _I'll_ be joining you all tonight." Marge said. Then, she closed the door, before slightly opening it again. " _And don't try to murder my Homie because **I'll be watching you!**_ " she yelled, before closing the door for real. The couple went back home to prepare for their visit. The Flanders got on fancy clothes and set up some chairs and their couch to make a circle. Ned wasn't sure how to fit murdering Homer in this impromptu party, but he'll find a way.


	10. Weapons in the Wall Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned uses those secret tools. It doesn't work.

Finally, Marge and Homer went to the Flanders' house. Everyone sat inside the chair circle to talk. They spoke about their day, their families, their jobs, and whatever else was on their minds. Marge attempted to bring up the multiple attempts on Homer's life, but she failed. After a while of talking, Ned offered Homer to see something interesting. He disagreed at first, but Ned persuaded him to agree.

They walked into the hallway that lead to his room. Ned stopped at where the hallway bent, and opened up his picture of the Last Supper. It revealed a myriad of weapons behind the painting. Homer began to walk away, but Ned grabbed a dagger and held it against Homer's neck. "You really are a diddly-dang lucky guy, aren't you?" he asked quietly.

"...I...suppose. My life feels like I'm living in a treehouse of horror..." he replied.

"You might be." Ned said, starting to dig the dagger into Homer's neck. "It's going to be okily dokily. I have nothing personal against you, I really don't." It was technically true. He _did_ have many things against Homer, but it didn't go as deep as his buddies. As he dug the knife deeper, he kept reassuring Homer. But almost as the dagger hit bone, he heard something that worried him.

"Homie? Homie..." Marge cooed. She was just around the corner. Ned took out the knife, closed the picture, and ran off. However, the damage was done and Homer's neck was cut and bleeding. Once she saw him, she shouted Ned's name.

Meanwhile, Ned was cleaning off the blood on his dagger. ' _Let me guess...it didn't work out?_ ' Maude asked, feeling him panic. '... _Yes._ ' he replied, trying to focus. It was hard since Maude kept talking to him and Marge kept yelling his name. Thankfully, he got though and went to put the weapon back, forgetting that Marge and Homer were there.

As he put the weapon back, he noticed Marge aiding Homer. Once she finished, she put Homer aside and stared down Ned. "You _were_ trying to kill him." the (understandably) pissed off lady said to him.

"Pardon. I understand your pain, but I did...don't want our relationship to crumble. All I want is get revenge for my wife and my friends. You've seen what they can d-do." he responded. He sounded like he tried to not say his verbal tics. Marge didn't know if that made what he said better or worse. "...Stay away from my husband, alright?" was all she could say. He nodded, then walked back to the living room.

Meanwhile, Maude discreetly called Remus. She told her about what happened in a short call. Both Ned and Maude realized the tension that rose between them and the Simpsons. Of course, they both left without a goodbye. Ned waved at them as they walked back, but they only took a glance.

Meanwhile, at the Rusty Mill, Remus wondered about something. Was Remus, unintentionally or otherwise, ruining the lives of not only Homer Simpson, but her own members? ...Well, yes she was, but she ignored her sudden epiphany. It wasn't the first, and it wouldn't be the last. Remus was determined, to her own detriment.


	11. Hit and Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herb decides to do something he wouldn't had done before.

Remus was in the Rusty Mill, not cleaning, but reading. As the others trickled through the doors, she merely pointed them to the basement. Once they all appeared, she flew downstairs and sat in the middle chair. "Everyone...and by everyone, I mean Herb, what will you do?" she asked. "We'll...have to wait for nighttime." he replied. "The only one that needs to stay is Remus, so everyone else is free to leave." As Herb and Remus waited for 9 P.M., the others soon left.

Eventually, the clock hit nine, and the two flew to the Simpson's house. Herb started up the Sedan as Remus knocked on the door. Homer opened the door, only to get knocked out. She dragged him to the trunk of the car, then got on the passenger side. "Where are we going, anyway?" Remus inquired.

"Into the night." he replied. The vagueness of that answer would've made Remus proud. They drove off, and Herb was planning to get out of Springfield. The ride went smoothly...at first. They started to hear a familiar noise. ...The noise of a moped.

Herb began to panic. Surely, it couldn't be who he thought it was...could it? And as the mysterious man drove to their level, they both realized it was true. Although it was hard to see him, the dirty blond hair peeking out of his helmet was incriminating. It was Seth Begonia Marley-Sapling!

"Howdy, Mr. Powell! What are you doing out on this lovely night?" he asked, unnaturally happy. Herb ignored him, if only of the sake of both his brother and Remus. Seth didn't seem to take it well, since he drove the moped into ~~Homer's~~ Herb's car. "You know, Mr. Powell, I have a feeling that your brother might be in there." he said, slightly angered. Herb drove faster, so Seth would leave.

Unfortunately, Seth didn't take the hint. He sped up too, and drove the moped into the Sedan again. "Looks like that jerk Remus is with you. I don't understand why you bother working with her." he told Herb. He stopped the car in a empty patch of land and looked at Seth, who was doing the same. "Hear me out, Herb." he said, gesturing towards himself.

"Remus, stay here. I may not like you...but I don't want you hurt." he whispered, before walking towards the (not so) mysterious man. "Fine, I'll listen to you on _one_ condition." he said, pointing a finger at the car. "Don't touch _anyone_ in that car, understand?" Seth nodded, while thinking of what to say to Herb. They weren't so different after all, he realized. They were both illegitimately born uncles who had a strained relationship with Homer Simpson. 'Maybe convincing him would be easier then I thought...' he thought.


	12. Hit and Run Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth tries to get Herb on his side.

"Mr. Powell, we aren't so different after all." Seth began. He told him all of the similarities they shared. Although he agreed with his points, he wondered what this conversation would lead to. Eventually, his speech went from their similarities to Remus. It wasn't _that_ surprising to Herb, but he wondered what Seth was doing in the first part.

"I've seen that, out of everyone in your club, you're the only one that genuinely doesn't want to kill him." Seth said.

"You know...? Have you been stalking _us_ too?"

"...Perhaps, but I digress. I know, although you might want to leave, **_you can't_**."

Herb moved back a bit. He was confused and scared by many things. How long have he been stalking them, and what did he mean by 'can't leave'? "I know how that damned notebook works. It's... ** _eviiiiiiil!_** " he yelled. By God, this man has become a large ham...

"...I beg your pardon...?" Herb asked, understandably confused.

"That notebook can bond souls to whatever or whoever the user wants, warp reality however they please, and much more..."

"...Yes, yes, but how does this explain why _Remus_ , of all people, have it?" Herb inquired. Seth genuinely didn't know the answer. He certainly didn't give the notebook to her, since he retired the book before she was even born. He only shrugged. Oh, how anticlimactic that was...

"Anyways, the point is that Remus is using possibly satanic items to ruin everyone's lives!" Seth yelled some more. Herb tried to fly away, but he grabbed him to speak with him some more. "Tell it to the people! She's genocidal, I say! Once she gets her way with Homer, she'll try do destroy the masses!" he screamed. Seth was gradually having a meltdown. Eventually, Herb pulled from his grasp and flew to the car.

Homer was awake now and just as panicked as the duo. As they drove off, Seth got on his moped and chased them. Remus got out her notebook, wrote down ' **UNSUCCESSFUL** ', and de-summoned it. "Glad to know the notebook didn't _completely_ overwrite your personality!" she said, looking unaware of what Seth told him. Herb just whimpered and drove faster.

After many car-bumping and panicked driving later, Herb and Remus got Homer home. The ghost girl got him from the trunk and threw him on the lawn. It was early in the morning, 2:00 A.M., to be exact. "I'm going to be at Frank's house today. ...And please tell nobody what you heard from Seth." Remus told him. As she left, Herb took out his ghost-phone and began to call the others. They deserved the closure, after all.


	13. Bear Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is snagged in a bear trap of questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did try to make a pun involving herbal tea, the slang 'tea', and Herb. Herb doesn't even sound like a word anymore... Just ignore my incredibly lame pun, alright?

Remus was at Frank's house, lounging around. Frank was the living room, waiting by the phone. Remus told him that Herb would be calling soon. And of coruse, he got the call and listened to Herb's 'herb'al tea. After they finished discussing, Frank asked Herb to bring everyone to his house. "Remus, hope you don't mind being crowded." he said, foreshadowing the impromptu party.

All she did was reply with a grunt. She didn't seem to get the hint. Not that it would matter soon, since the rest of the club is coming their way. Frank merely waited for them to show up. Justice would be served, for the club at least.

And, since this plot wouldn't continue otherwise, Herb finally showed up and pounded on the door. Frank answered and the club trickled through and surrounded Remus. "So, after you guys get done being angry at me, can we kill Homer again?" Remus asked, unnaturally calm for the situation she's in. Everyone was caught off-guard by it, but then went back to their senses. "Remus, you've...used us. Didn't you just want to see if Homer killed you or not?" Roman said, slightly sad.

"...Oh yeah. About that, I...kind of forgot about it."

"...Dear God, that's the _worst_ case of motive decay I've ever seen. Speaking of motive...bring out that _damn_ notebook." Roman said, now glaring. Remus summoned her notebook. Unlike the ghost objects, which were semi-solid, slightly transparent, and had an aqua glow, this book was solid and glowed dark red. It had a dark brown, withered cover and was tied up with strong string. She doubted the book would survive these next few days.

"Here. Don't tear it." she said, giving it to them. "...Not that you could..." she then muttered under her breath. Roman turned to the page of the member's titles. They held it to the others and said "Do you see these titles? It's like...Remus took our dreams and gave us the opposite!" They started pointing to the various members. "From you...to you..." they stopped, then pointed to Remus. "...and even...you?" They checked the notebook once more to confirm what they saw was correct.

"It's most likely stupidity. Ha!" Edna said. Although it was most likely just sarcasm, it wouldn't be an _incorrect_ answer. After a few seconds of laughter (even from Remus), everyone went back to work. "And despite your diddly-dirty deeds, we can't even leave!" Ned yelled, getting everyone back on track. Remus sat up and said "Actually, you _can._ Just on **_one condition..._** "

"And that's...?"

"...Kill Homer Simpson. And, if our experiences has shown us anything, that's harder then it sounds."

Ned was about to say some more, but then Herb spoke. "Why did you even need a possibly satanic, reality warping notebook anyway? Was it to demonize and flanderize the people you wanted to join so you would have some help?" Although Remus knew the answer, the question still pierced her heart. While Remus was thinking of something to say, he took the notebook from Roman and set it on a nearby desk. "And that notebook certainly didn't do any favors for _you_ , either." Juinor added. Remus only sputtered a "...I...know..." back at him.

"...It really did destroy your ambitions." he said, snapping her back into reality. "I _do_ have ambitions!" she said, strutting through the room. She slowly went towards Frank on top of that. "...Like, get a better job, finish high school, reunite with my boyfriend...God, I sound like a high schooler in one of those bad 'high school' movies..." she said. Grabbing her notebook, she sat down and waited for the crowd to speak.

"...I think we're done here...for _now._ " Herb said. The clock showed it was almost 3 A.M. now, and Homer wouldn't be up until 6 'o clock. "I think we should all rest up before doing anything else, especially something as time-consuming as...murder." he continued, shivering as he said 'murder'. He, Edna, Roman, Ned, and Maude left while Juinor went to the nearest bedroom. Roman went back to tell Remus one simple thing; _she'll pay for this._ Not that Remus minded, since she finally has time to finish one of those ambitions...


	14. Bear Trap Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The club leads Homer to the forest.

It's 6 A.M., and Herb came back to collect Frank. Not Remus as well, he just wants Frank. The doorbell rang as Frank and Remus snuggled on the couch. They ignored the sound, so Herb went through the door and announced his presence. "We're not dating!" Frank said, shook by his rather sudden move.

"...Sorry, Frank. That isn't why I'm here, anyway. It's 6 o' clock!"

He sat up. "It is!" He got out of the couch and went to Herb's side.

Herb turned to Remus. "You stay here, understand?" Remus thought about what this meant. Perhaps if she had another chance, she would do at least _something_ competent. However...an entire day of sleep! How could she beat that? She nodded and went to sleep. Herb and Frank stared at each other, secretly wondering how that worked so well.

They both shrugged and went to the Mill to wait for the others. It would be Edna's turn today. She's a bit inspired by what happened with Herb. And since Remus and her evil notebook isn't here to mess up anything, surely this plan will go swimmingly! Her plan, by the way, is to dump Homer in a forest and leave him to die.

Edna and Herb decided to team up and possess Homer's car together. They'd use their combined power to steer the junky Sedan into the forest and stop the car battery prematurely. Then, they'll leave him there to rot. What a wonderful plan. And, without giving the others a second notice, they left the store to possess a car.

Meanwhile, Homer was driving to work, having just turned on his car. Since this route took him through Downtown Springfield, the duo wouldn't have a hard time catching up to him. They headed straight for the car as it went by. Homer noticed as the car began to jerk. He had this car for a long time, and _that_ wasn't normal.

He thought it could've just been a problem with the car that a mechanic could fix, but then it started driving on its own. And not to where he wanted to go, either. Homer tried to get out, but the doors were locked and he couldn't unlock them. He then realized what was happening, and laid in his seat. 'Maybe if I'm calm, then they won't try to hurt me...' he thought.

After that, he realized where he was going. _...The forest._ Sure, it was less of a threat then most of what he gone through, but it was still unpleasant. He remembered that he survived that club's attempts before, and he could surely survive them now. The car eventually got off road and went into the woods.

It went deep into the woods and shut off. Homer tried to turn it on again, but to no avail. Edna and Herb got out of the car and set up a few ghostly bear traps, just in case he got out. The duo, proud of their work (but mostly Edna), went back to their homes to relax. Frank, noticing the time that has passed, decided to go back home as well.

Of coruse, it wasn't to calm down, but instead to wake up Remus. He shook her at first, but then spoke to her. Although she didn't completely wake up, she _was_ aware enough to summon that damn notebook. Frank wrote in it this time, with the result being 'Inconclusive'. He set it on top of Remus and went to bed for some well-needed sleep.

Meanwhile, Juinor got a note from Roman. It said to meet them at their house at 8 P.M. to talk about their new plan. A plan that they _know_ will work. Juinor was obviously interested, and kept the note in his pocket for later. Of coruse, later that day, they met up and discussed their plan. And what a plan it was...


	15. Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first part of Roman and Juinor's plan.

Remus woke up to Junior knocking on her door. Opening it, she saw that Roman joined him as well. "We have a plan. Get Frank and Maude, I bet they'd want to see it." Roman said. She called Frank to wake up and call Maude. Afterwards, she realized the notebook was still there and de-summoned it.

"Are you sure we can't bring the others?" Remus asked while Frank ran downstairs.

"I don't think they'd like to. Especially Herb..." Roman replied.

"And why are you planning? Isn't Homer stuck in the forest?"

"He came back. Seth probably found out and released him."

She nodded and waited for Maude to arrive. Once she did, they all sat in a circle and spoke. "Maude, Remus, Frank, you all have a rendezvous at _this_ incinerator." Juinor said, giving them a picture of a incinerator located at Downtown Springfield. "We'll kidnap Homer, bring him there, beat him to death, then burn his body." Roman continued. Remus had a question, not necessarily about their plan, but about herself.

"Why am I here? You all hate my guts. ...Well, except Frank, but even then, that's a very thin line..." she asked.

"You have the notebook. Once Homer dies, you'll burn the notebook and release us." they responded.

Remus concluded that's a good enough reason and left it at that. Remus secretly called the other three to join them as well and lead the other two towards Downtown. Meanwhile, Roman and Juinor voyaged to Evergreen Terrence. Juinor had his gun in hand, and would do what he did with Seth. Roman had a body bag they'd stuff Homer into.

They looked through the window once they got there. Homer was lounging on the couch, and Marge and/or Seth were nowhere in sight. 'Must be our lucky day...' Juinor thought. Roman attempted to open the door, only to find out it's locked. Juinor decided that wouldn't stop them and kicked the window open.

Homer was understandably scared and tried to run off. Juinor shot him in the leg, caught up to him, and knocked him out in response. Roman then shoved his body into the body bag, muttering about the blue-collar man's drive. Once they managed to finally get him inside, they closed the bag and looked at Juinor. "Should we take his car or walk downtown?" they asked.

"Take the car. You don't have to drag that deadweight around and we'll get their faster. I'll drive." he told them. He took the car keys and they both walked out of the house and into Homer's sucky Sedan. Meanwhile, the two trios were wandering their way toward the incinerator. Frank managed to find a sewage pipe on the way there. Eventually, all nine will meet up and see something that'd change their lives...assumingly.


	16. Ending Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kill Homer Club is no more.

Remus, Frank, and Maude got to the incinerator first. The other two teams were going to appear soon, so they waited for their arrivals. Herb, Ned, and Edna got there second, to the surprise of Frank and Maude. Of course, the secondary trio didn't know they were going to appear either. They all then proceeded to get into one big argument that could (probably) only be stopped by Juinor and Roman's appearance.

Meanwhile, the duo were driving to their destination, unaware everyone else was fighting. As they approached, the noise of the brawl grew. The other members failed to notice their appearance until they parked and Juinor threw Homer's body to the ground. Roman was about to take out a bat, but stopped when they saw Frank dash to him, sewage pipe in hand. Frank began to beat the absolute shit out of him. Soon, Juinor began to join him, and they took turns beating Homer to a bloody pulp.

Ah, the power of father-son bonding.

The other members had different reactions to what they were seeing. Remus had the magic notebook in hand, attempting to keep her urges in check. Herb had his hands in his head, crying. Ned was vomiting, while Maude was trying to confront him. Roman just felt as if their time to shine was stolen. And Edna just watched with a blank stare.

"...I didn't know he had it in him..." she whispered. It kept like this for a while until Roman batted them away and threw the mess of organs, skin, muscle, and blood into the fire. Everyone was about to leave until they heard the noise of a notebook hitting the incinerator and crisping up in the fire. They looked behind them to see that Remus threw her book into the incinerator. They all felt as if a large burden was lifted from their backs.

"I have one thing to say." she began. They walked up to Remus. "The Kill Homer Club is no more. None of you are bonded to the club anymore, and will never be again. You all can now live your lives peaceful and happy. You won't be seeing me anymore, either. That is all." she said, then gestured everyone out of the area. ...Everyone except Frank. "I want to to stay for a while." she told him.

He was hesitant to stay with her. 'What did she want?' he thought, as she held his hand. "...You remember when your said that maybe we'll date again?" Remus asked. He nodded, albeit confused. She _did_ just see him murder someone, and in a pretty gruesome manner, too... "...Perhaps, now that Homer's dead, this can be the day?" she said softly.

"M...Maybe..." he said. Frank wasn't sure how to feel about this situation. "We can stay at my house tonight." the blue-collar man said, attempting to sound...not distressed, for lack of a better word. She agreed and squeezed his hand. They both floated home, with hope in their hearts. ...Well, Remus' heart did, since Frank's heart was mostly filled with confusion and leftover anger.


End file.
